Your Momma's Thoughts

I thought this would be neat for you to read when I'm old and gray (I'm 27 now)...I wonder if I still feel the same way about when I'm older.

• How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 17...I'm a late bloomer
• Which is worse, failing or never trying? never trying...always try your hardest...even if that means trying more than once
• If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?  I have just started to realize this, and make an effort every day some times several times a day to do things that will me make proud of myself.  It's not always easy.  Life is too short to not do the things you want to do.  You are your own.
• When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? I hope not.  This is something I'm working on...
• What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? children and innocent suffering.  It breaks my heart to know so many suffer because of hatred, hunger, greed, ingnorance.  I thank God everyday for blessing me and the ones I love for our safety and all the abundance that we have in America.  We, including myself, take so much for granted.  It's a shame.
• If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? sleeping in, cuddling with my boys, going to visit in Kentucky, talks with my two Papaw's, cooking with my Granny, naps in the warm sunshine, showing you all of the things I loved as a child, being your Amma.  I'm a simple person. 
• Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? A little of both I suppose.  I know I have hurt some that I love by doing what I believe in, so I find myself settling for a while.  I think its a price we all pay when we love each other.  We have to be our own person, but when you love others you find out when they hurt then you hurt...when they are confused by your actions then you have to feel the akwardness of that.  As long as you are doing things with God in mind...you'll be ok...and so will they. 

• If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? The same way I am now.  Day to day...being the best mother I can be to you, and good to the people I love.
• You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?  Most of the time when your dad hears someone talking about another he says "Put yourself in their shoes"  its simple really.  People may make fun of you in your life time, but the words they say don't matter.  They aren't thinking with their hearts when they speak about other people in that way.  Only feeding into the entertainment it may give them for a brief moment. 
• If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? live life slowly and with a loving and forgiving heart.  Know that God will always lift you up when you are tired, weak, or lost. He has given us all the strength to make change.  Laugh...a lot.  Have fun!
• Would you break the law to save a loved one? Yes...everytime
• Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? everywhere
• What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
• How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? because everyone is so very different
• What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back? Travel....I need mo'money!
• Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Yes.  Guilt.  I have this need to please everyone and when I don't succeed...I feel guilt.  It's something I have to pray about all of the time and something I notice when is gone for a moment and my heart is light. 

• If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? North Carolina...I fall in love with that state everytime I drive through it.
• Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? Yes and Yes...I'm crazy like that
• Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? joyful simpleton...nothing more, nothing less
• Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Not always, but I try to be.  A friend is someone who accepts those flaws and is your friend anyway.  I love my sweet friends and they know I always mean well, and I know the same about them
• Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Losing touch with the one that live close by.  I have friends that live very far away and it has only made us closer
• What are you most grateful for? You, my sweet boy.
• What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special? All of them wrapped into one.  I can't just pick one, they are all so special.  I was a blessed kid and had a fun childhood.
• At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? When we go over to the beach in the evening and run though the waves, and then lay on the warm sand together with the warm summer sun setting on us.  I don't know when wouldn't feel alive.  The warmth of the sun in the evening and the freshness of the water has always made me get butterflies (sounds cheesy...but it's true).  That's why I sleep with the blinds open...because I like to wake up with the warm sun shining on me. 
• Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? Yes.  Adi and I were sitting in the middle of Time Square in New York.  Just sitting there indian style...taking it all in.  We sat there together in silence for the longest time.  Finally, we looked at each other, smiled and busted out laughing at how comfortable we are with each other. 
• If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? Yes!!!
• Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? Not a chance!  I am beautiful...even with my chubbyness, and skinny legs.  I have flaws...but I love myself.  I have my Daddy's nose, legs and feet, my Momma's eyes, butt and hands.  I am me and I am confident in myself...flaws and all.
• When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? yesterday evening when we were laying on the sand.
• What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? I love people...I love their stories...and I hope that I have helped a few along their way.
• In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that? I try to slow down during the moments that make my heart feel warm...soak those moments in.  I just wish I could get rid of those bad moments that sometimes put a fog over the good stuff.  It's all part of it though.  I tend to be a dreamer with my head in the clouds wanting everything to be happy all of the time.  I'm get so upset sometimes when things don't turn out with a happy ending or what-not.  I'm still learning to just deal with the unpleasant stuff right then and now...and then back to my happy self.